1. I can hear music coming out of my photocopier. I think the paper's jammin' again.
2. Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the doctor, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?" He winked at me and said "Well, I'm off duty in ten minutes, meet me in the car park."
3. I was told to listen to Rebecca Black's single 'Friday'. For the first time ever I wished I had been Rick rolled.
4. People are making Rapture jokes like there's no tomorrow.
5. Giggs is a national hero in Wales at the moment. For the first time in living memory, jokes about a Welshman having sex don't involve sheep.
6. Chuck Norris won an award today...... Kanye West sat politely in his seat.
7. I recently saved a ton of money on my car insurance. By fleeing the scene of the accident.
8. 22 identical sealed boxes. A quarter of a million pounds. And just one question. What else is on?
9. I'd kill for a prison sentence.
10. Did anyone else think that Mel Gibson's remake of the 'Life of Brian' wasn't nearly as funny as the original?
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